


Dildo of Pimps

by RedTeamShark



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Author Chose Not To Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-06 10:12:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16830562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTeamShark/pseuds/RedTeamShark
Summary: So we all know that the weekly Minecraft contest winner gets the Tower of Pimps. But there’s a second prize for the winner, known in the office as the “Dildo of Pimps.”





	Dildo of Pimps

**Author's Note:**

> Proper warnings, tags, etc, may come in the future. For the time being I'm frantically transferring my content to a stable platform amidst growing concerns about tumblr's inevitable implosion.
> 
> Apologies for flooding the fandom page.

“Hey, Tower of Pimps again!” Ray exclaimed, pumping his arms excitedly in the air as he made the ‘trip’ across the office to take the tower from Jack’s desk. Gavin stepped back to allow him space as the Puerto Rican gamer snatched up the four gold-painted plastic blocks, stepping over to his desk and leaning over to retrieve his dirt block. He planted the tower on it, crying out in outrage as Geoff knocked it over immediately.

“Tune in next week!” The tattooed man declared into the camera over Ray’s anguished cries and the other Achievement Hunter’s laughter. Gavin shut the camera off, snickering and setting it on his desk.

“Top let’s play, though.” He noted, taking a seat in his chair and spinning around.

“Yeah, well, you’ll say that until you edit it. I mean, let’s be honest here.” Michael commented, switching his Xbox on and scrolling through his dashboard. “As soon as we get our footage to you, you’ll be complaining about having to edit it all together.”

“Especially if bloody Jack spends half of it making bloody stairs again!” Gavin exclaimed with a sigh, drawing laughter from the bearded man seated behind him.

“Only some stairs.” He agreed, checking his e-mail quickly. “Most of it was mining.”

“That’s even worse!” Gavin shouted, bouncing lightly in his chair. “That’s even worse than stairs because I have to bloody watch in case something happens!”

“You could ask Lindsay to edit it for you.” Ryan offered, packing his games case and standing up from the couch. “I’m sure she’d only make you pay half this time, since it should only be one episode.”

“Nah. Can’t be bothered.”

Just before the crew in the small office returned to work, Geoff cleared his throat, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Make sure you all come by before leaving, okay? We’ve gotta have an Achievement Hunter Friday meeting.”

The other five members of the team exchanged a glance at the comment, a knowing look passing among them. This wasn’t the typical ‘Achievement Hunter Group meeting’ event that all the members of the team would be needed for; this was the special six-member-only Friday meeting.

–

“Alright, fuckheads.” Geoff clapped his hands as Ryan stepped into the office and shut the door, flicking the lock casually. “I don’t wanna be here all night, so let’s get this done with.”

Ray swallowed, stepping into the center of the room and trying not to make eye contact with anyone—a difficult process, given that they were all staring at him. “Geoff, we, uh… don’t actually _need_ to do this every week…” He started, swallowing again as his boss pulled an item out from under his desk.

“Hey, everyone has their turn, Ray.” Michael cut in, leaning back in his chair and tapping his fingertips on his thigh. “Just because you haven’t won since we started this thing.”

“Well, yeah, but—“ Ray cut himself off, just staring as Geoff set the object in the middle of the room.

It was a dildo and suddenly it went from looking comically large to imposingly so, the balls colored black with small flecks of purple, the length shining gold silicon. There was still raging debate about whether the sex toy was the “dildo of pimps” or “tower of sluts,” but at the moment all Ray could conclude was that there was no way it was going to fit inside him.

“No, seriously.” He tried again, waving his hands and taking a step backwards. “I don’t think it’s gonna fit.”

Warm hands settled on his hips, squeezing lightly as a bony chin pressed into his shoulder. “Relax, Ray.” Gavin whispered, pushing his shirt up slowly. “You were totally into it when you didn’t have to do it.”

“Well, yeah…” His words trailed off again, whatever weak argument he had falling apart quickly. Michael stepped forward, leaning in close and planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth, hands sliding up Ray’s shirt.

“It’s not as bad as you’re thinking.” The auburn-haired man whispered, thumbs brushing over Ray’s nipples as he pushed his shirt up. “We’ll make sure it’s not.”

Aware that his protests were in vain, Ray stopped trying, simply becoming compliant to the actions of his fellow lads. He let Michael pull his shirt of, shivering and fighting a moan when Gavin’s hands ran up his sides. Lips were on him, just as gentle as the fingers that ran over his bared torso, trailing light kisses over his skin—Michael at his collar bone, Gavin at his shoulder. Hands were on his hips again, working inside his loose shorts, running over the fabric of his boxers. Hands were on his face, pulling him into another kiss before Michael stepped back, offering a smile.

“Just stay relaxed.” He reminded him, brushing his knuckles along Ray’s cheek and taking a seat.

Gavin led him over to Ryan on the couch, whispering encouragements as the older man undid Ray’s shorts and tugged them down with his boxers. He stepped out of them, letting himself be maneuvered to lie across the brunette’s lap. Then Ryan’s hands were running over his bared skin, stroking along his spine and the insides of his thighs. He shivered, gripping onto the couch and trying to relax, trying not to flinch at every light touch to his skin. There was a quiet murmur of voices above him, Ryan’s hands leaving him for a moment. Ray hung in limbo, unsure what was going to happen next, his face pressed to the couch cushions so he wouldn’t have to look at any of his coworkers.

Hands stroking through his hair made him look up, coming eye to eye with Jack as the bearded man stroked his hair. “Just relax.” He murmured, the sound almost lost under Ray’s gasp as a finger pressed to his entrance. His face flushed immediately, tipping down to hide in the couch cushions again as Ryan worked a finger against his puckered hole.

“You need to relax, Ray.” Jack said softly, running his hands along his neck and shoulders. “It won’t hurt if you relax.” Ray took a breath, trying to focus on the hands on his shoulders rather than the finger rubbing his entrance. He bit down on his lip as Ryan’s finger slid inside him, eased by the lubricant but still accompanied by an awkward, stretching feeling. Jack’s hands continued to rub his shoulders, Ryan’s free hand rubbing the small of his back.

“That’s it… just relax…” The brunette muttered above him, slowly beginning to move his finger within the Puerto Rican. Ray bit down on a groan at the feeling, his hips jerking slightly. “There you go…” Ryan’s soft praise accompanied by Jack’s hands on him actually was having a calming effect. He turned his head to the right, cracking his eyes open and tensing up again as Ryan started to work a second finger against his entrance.

Michael was in front of him then, running his hands down Ray’s back, his voice joining Ryan’s in whispering soothing words. The balance on the couch shifted, more hands brushing his skin as Gavin joined them as well. He sighed, feeling himself relax into the touches, eyes staying on Michael’s. Maybe it should have been more awkward to stare at his friend while being prepared to fuck a sex toy while five people watched, but Ray couldn’t bring himself to feel awkward about it. The eye contact was soothing, in a way, and he didn’t realize that Ryan had slid a second finger into him until the brunette stretched them apart slightly. He gasped, arching his back slightly and closing his eyes against the feeling inside him. It wasn’t as bad as it had been at first, though, the stretching was still a little uncomfortable but the intrusion itself didn’t seem as bad.

Ryan’s third finger slid into him easier than the first and even the second, the three digits slowly pumping in and out of the slim gamer, stretching and rubbing against him. Ray bit his lip again, fighting a moan. He felt warm breath wash across his face and cracked his eyes open, surprised to see Michael so close to him. “Let it out if you have to.” The other man whispered, pressing a kiss to his chin before catching his lips. “It’s fine. No one’s gonna judge you. This stays here.” He reminded him quietly, lips moving against Ray’s as he spoke.

“Yeah, X-Ray.” Gavin agreed behind him, running his fingertips down his side. “If it feels good, then feel good.”

And it did feel good, that somehow made it worse for Ray. He groaned against Michael’s mouth, moving his hips in time with Ryan’s fingers, grinding himself into the older man’s lap. His cheeks were flushed red; his eyes squeezed shut against the embarrassment of the situation. There were still hands on him, Michael and Gavin and Ryan and Jack running their hands soothingly over his skin even though he didn’t need much help to relax anymore. When Michael pulled away he tried to follow the other man’s lips, whimpering softly from the lack of contact. Jack’s hands left him next, only Gavin and Ryan’s touches lingering. The weight on the couch shifted again as Gavin sat up, gently pulling Ray’s head to rest in his lap, stroking his hair away from his forehead.

New hands were on his hips, rough hands and he realized that it must have been Geoff. Ryan’s fingers slowly left him and Ray felt himself being rolled over, opening his eyes to see Gavin smiling down at him. The Brit leaned in, planting a kiss against his lips before nudging him to sit up. His back pressed to Ryan’s chest, legs spread to either side of the other man’s thighs, Ray regarded his boss as the tattooed man stood before him, arms crossed over his chest.

“You think you’re ready, champ?” Geoff questioned, a smile on his face but his sleepy eyes studying Ray seriously. The Puerto Rican swallowed down his nerves, focusing on Ryan’s hands rubbing the insides of his thighs as he nodded.

“I… As ready as I’m gonna be.” He agreed softly, moving to his feet when he was prodded to, keeping his eyes on Geoff’s. If he just didn’t look at it maybe he wouldn’t get nervous and tense up again.

Geoff’s hands settled on his hips, turning him to face the couch and guiding him to kneel over the custom created dildo, minute gestures shifting him into position; on his knees with his legs spread to either side of the silicone cock. The hands on his hips moved him downward steadily and Ray swallowed, setting his hand over Geoff’s and stopping him suddenly. “It’s…” He fought down the nerves, looking to his boss over his shoulder. “I-I mean, it’s lubed up, right?” He asked softly, pursing his lips at the other man’s laugh.

“Yeah. I did that while Ryan was getting you ready.” Geoff assured him, brushing his thumb over his hip bone. “And if it hurts you speak up fucking immediately and we’ll stop.”

“No chance I can skip this week?” He asked with a weak laugh, his final defense against the inevitable.

Silence greeted the question and Ray glanced around the office, somewhat surprised at the concern he saw on his friends and coworkers’ faces. “Ray, if you really don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.” Geoff spoke, quietly and seriously. “No one’s going to force you into it.”

“Yeah.” Michael spoke up beside him, taking the other man’s hand and squeezing it lightly. “It’s your choice, man. Don’t forget that.”

“We’ll stop if you tell us to, always.” Ryan agreed, leaning forward slightly and keeping eye contact with Ray for a moment.

“Alright, alright, I get it. No need for an after school special.” He muttered, squeezing Michael’s hand back and taking a deep breath. “I would have called it off already if I really didn’t want to.”

Geoff nodded behind him, squeezing his hips before slowly guiding him downward. Ray bit down on his lip as he felt the head of the cock press against his entrance, forcing himself to exhale and relax. “Nice and easy does it.” Geoff whispered, hands keeping Ray’s hips steady as the Puerto Rican lowered himself down inch by inch. “Keep breathing.” He reminded, watching as the sex toy inched itself inside of Ray.

He swallowed down a cry, thighs trembling as he lowered the last couple of inches. Geoff’s hands on his hips kept him from slipping and taking more than he wanted to at once, something he was immensely grateful for. Squeezing his eyes shut, Ray lowered himself until he was fully seated on the sex toy, exhaling harshly and looking down. He was breathing heavily just from the initial intrusion, though it didn’t exactly feel unpleasant. It was larger and went deeper than Ryan’s fingers, without the precision that the other man’s digits had… but it was also pressing against seemingly everywhere inside him at once, and new places previously undiscovered that sent shivers up his spine.

He looked up again, surprised to meet Gavin’s eyes. The sandy-haired man lifted an eyebrow, smiling slightly and unabashedly palming himself through his jeans. His cheeks were flushed as well, eyes raking up and down Ray’s body slowly and deliberately. “Fuck, Ray…” Gavin muttered, the only words in the room. Whatever other thought he had he seemed to bite off, closing his mouth and glancing around quickly. His hand moved faster against the front of his jeans, though, hips jerking up slightly to grind into his palm.

Ray gave an experimental wiggle of his hips, groaning aloud at the sensations even the small movement sent through him. He felt the hand still holding Michael’s being lowered as he moved and dared a glance to the side, eyes widening in surprise when Michael pressed his hand against the front of his pants and began to rub against it. The other man’s eyes were focused on him, hazed with arousal.

There was a rustle of fabric to his other side and Ray glanced over to see Jack undoing his jeans and Christ, he realized, this was actually happening, they were getting off on watching him fuck a sex toy. Ray felt Geoff’s hands squeeze his hips, a soft voice in his ear. “Move.” The command came, whispered but no less fierce for it. Focusing, Ray lifted his hips upward, feeling the slide as he raised off the dildo, moving up until another squeeze on his hips sent him back down.

His head shot back, mouth open in a silent sound of surprised pleasure, the hand not trapped by Michael’s grip scrambling for something to hold onto. One of Geoff’s hands left his hips, catching his flailing arm and guiding his hand down, large fingers over his own wrapping around his cock. He groaned loudly at the feeling, head tipped back to rest on Geoff’s shoulder as the older man helped him stroke his cock and continue to ride the dildo. More fabric rustled under the sound of Ray’s moans, bare flesh suddenly against his hand and he realized that he was jerking Michael off, the auburn haired man’s hand wrapped around his just like Geoff’s, guiding it on his cock. Creaking springs as the two men on the couch shifted position and Ray dared a glance at Gavin and Ryan, moaning loudly and slamming his hips downward, hands squeezing his and Michael’s cocks. They were jerking each other off, Ryan’s arm around Gavin’s waist pulling the smaller man in closer, squeezing and stroking his dick while Gavin leaned over and worked his hand inside Ryan’s pants.

Behind him Geoff grunted, hand leaving Ray’s over his cock and even with all the moans and gasps in the room the sound of a zipper being pulled down behind him seemed very loud. “Fuck, Ray…” The tattooed man whispered, erection pressing into his back, rubbing against him as Ray continued to move himself on the dildo.

The office became filled with the sounds of groans and gasps, five pairs of eyes on Ray as the tanned man fucked himself on the sex toy. He moved faster as he grew more comfortable with it, jerking himself off and trembling, muscles twitching from the effort of movement. He shuddered when Geoff’s hand closed over his own on his cock again, crying out in orgasm as his boss pumped his erection.

Ray slumped backwards, letting Geoff use his back and Michael use his hand, eyes sliding around the room, watching the other men lose control of themselves and cum. He felt a splash of warmth against his back, Geoff groaning softly in his ear, muttering things that were encouraging but also shamefully filthy against his skin as the older man’s semen hit his back.

They rested in the room, breathing heavily and not quite ready to move yet. Ray groaned, wiggling his hips slightly and biting down a whimper. “Does…” He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and trying not to be embarrassed by the question. “Could I get a hand with this…?”

Behind him Geoff snickered, but his hands ran down Ray’s back, stroking the backs of his thighs slightly. “Just keep relaxed.” He reminded the younger man, slowly pulling the dildo out of him and setting it aside. Ray started to sit up, Geoff’s hand on his back keeping him still. “Lie down for a bit.” He instructed, carefully pushing him to the floor, running his hands down his sides.

Jack was the first one to fully recover, adjusting his pants and standing up. “I better get out of here, going to be late for dinner.” He commented, crouching down and pressing a light kiss to Ray’s forehead. “Good job, man.” With that he was out the door, into the Friday evening silent office.

Gavin lie down across Ryan’s lap, making noises of protest as he was poked and prodded to move. “I’ve gotta get home too, Gavin. Get the hell off me.” Ryan complained, sighing and shoving him to the floor. The Brit whined, flailing his arms and trying to scramble back to his feet. Michael grabbed onto him before he could, yanking Gavin up and into his lap on his chair, clamping a hand over his mouth. “Thanks, Michael. See you guys Monday.” Ryan paused, though, reaching down and squeezing Ray’s shoulder lightly before he left.

“Fucking cuddle-slut.” Michael noted, releasing Gavin’s mouth and stroking his hair back. “You’re lucky you only weight like ten pounds.” He bumped his forehead against the other man’s lightly, sighing. “How do you feel, Ray?”

“Fuckin’ exhausted…” Ray mumbled from the floor, shivering as Geoff’s hands ran over his back. “That was… really intense.”

“You’ll get used to it.” Gavin commented, wiggling around to face Ray. “I mean, I’m sure you’re gonna win all the damned time.”

Ray only groaned, shaking his head. “If this is victory I’d rather be a loser like you.”

“Well, if that’s how you—hey! Not cool, X-Ray!” Gavin squawked, flailing and forcing Michael to lock down on him again.

“You’re like a fucking child, just sit still, fuck’s sake Gavin!”

Geoff helped Ray to the couch, letting him sit down before going to pack his things. Michael released Gavin, letting the other man get ready to leave too, settling on the couch next to Ray and slipping an arm over his shoulders. They waved as the other two left, before turning to face each other.

“I’m still naked. This is kinda weird.” Ray noted, though he made no move to cover himself or get his clothes. Michael shrugged.

“I mean if you want me to strip down too, whatever. Or we could do that back at your place.”

“Dude, don’t make this any weirder than it is.” He groaned, laughing slightly and shaking his head. “I’m feeling fine now, gonna get dressed and head home.”

“You want me to wait for you?” Michael offered with a little smile, standing and gathering Ray’s clothes for him, setting the garments on the couch. “Y’know, walk you home and all that.”

“Kiss me at the front door, too, right? Just fuckin’… I’ll be out as soon as I get dressed, if you wanna walk home together or whatever that’s cool.” Michael nodded, stepping out of the room and letting Ray dress in peace.

He let himself out a few minutes later, leaning against the door and wincing slightly. “Fuck. Glad it’s Friday and I don’t have any plans this weekend. Think I’m just gonna lie on my stomach all weekend.” He muttered, letting Michael slip an arm around his waist and lead him out of the building.

“Yeah, it’s pretty rough the first time around.”

“How’d you manage it so well, then?” Ray asked quietly, frowning just a little.

“Uh… you don’t wanna know?” Michael offered with a slightly nervous laugh. “Let’s just say that… Lindsay was okay with it under certain conditions.”

“Alright, alright, forget I asked.” Ray waved his hands, grabbing his keys to let himself into his apartment. “I’ll see you Monday morning or something, man.”

“Hey, gimme a call if you need anything, Ray. I don’t mind coming over.” Michael waved, continuing on to his own apartment.

Ray settled face-down on his bed, groaning at the movement. After a moment he experimentally rolled over, sighing with relief that the position wasn’t too uncomfortable.

If this was all it was, he supposed he’d stop holding back on winning the Tower of Pimps.


End file.
